newnoise1 gets clueless on soccer

Soccer fever . . . tips from the clueless to the clueless

Even if you don’t know your soccer ball from your rugby ball there is still a remote chance that you to can make a rand or two by writing about upcoming soccer events.

I say remote and advise you to first read carefully through FIFA's guidelines on do's and don’ts before investing your nest egg in any brilliant ideas you may have. Be warned, most ideas will not work if you don't have a number of trade mark attorneys or advisors at your beck and call.

I'm not taking any chances. For instance, I had a wonderful idea. I was reflecting on how soccer players are fit, compact muscled machines, good looking and passionate. Why not have a competition where readers can vote to select the ten best looking players in the world? At least those players who don’t score a goal will get recognition for being gorgeous and I would have done my bit for the beautiful game. Now, after reading the do's and don'ts, I'm really not sure that this is legal.

One area that I think it will be legal to write about is what is meant by the term ‘offside’ in soccer. Only those in the very inner circle know what the expression means. You can find out and enlighten millions of men and women across the globe who would like to use the expression in a sentence but feel a bit offside when they do. Start your research soon, the most important soccer event of the decade is taking place from 11 June to 11 July 2010, in South Africa. I will, in the meantime, get more clarity on what is allowed and not allowed with regard to copyright.

What else? The most important rule in soccer is that you should try not to touch the ball with your hands. The second most important rule is to not accidentally land up in front of fanatic fans or a player who has just scored a goal. This could at best change your life forever in a hundred painful ways and at worst kill you.

I am not sure if I'm aloud to provide a link to the official site. It's not difficult to find. You can also search for their Guidelines document.

One of the host cities, Tshwane, gets a link it's my hometown:

http://www.tshwanetourism.co.za/

Gordon institute of business:

http://www.gibs.co.za/home.asp?PID=51331&ToolID=2&ItemID=63243

Department of Trade and Industry

http://www.sa2010.gov.za/en/opportunities-2010-0

Here are some reading suggestions on soccer:

I will have to get back to you on this . . . anybody got any suggestions? A true, dramatic story on soccer would be preferable, let's allow the clueless to ease into it.